College Isn’t Like The Movies But It Can Come Close
We’ve all seen those movies and sitcoms. A group of ragtag individuals form an unbreakable bond in a wacky workplace. A study group embarks on escalated hijinks whilst managing to not study at all. Or the classic ensemble of 20-somethings, who are more like family than friends, live in a big city with questionably large apartments.
As a Film and Media Studies major at UC Irvine, I have seen and obsessed over many versions of this trope. Although these storylines provide a wonderful form of escapism, they also produce unrealistic expectations of what making friends outside of high school is like. Nevertheless, you will make lifelong friends during your time at UCI. As an introvert, I may not be an expert in this subject, but I can provide some tips that will help you find your people in college and make the most of your time here. It will be an equally exciting movie, directed by you and for you.
Meeting People
Meeting people at UCI is probably the easiest step in this process. Meeting the same person on multiple occasions is the challenge. Oftentimes you will meet someone at an event or class, have a nice conversation, exchange Instagrams, and then never see them again. To avoid this, it is important to join different clubs that meet on a regular basis.
If you enjoy filmmaking like me, you might enjoy Zotfilm, a student-run organization where you create a short film in the Fall and Winter quarters. Anteater TV is another student-run organization that provides students with opportunities to work on professional productions. Additionally, if you were in the yearbook during high school, you could join the UCI Anthology, UCI’s student-run yearbook, or the New University—the school newspaper. There is also a student government: ASUCI. Many of these more professional clubs and organizations have intern opportunities which provide great resume boosters and introduce you to a community of people with similar aspirations. Check out fellow Unfiltered Life writer Rehana’s blog post for a more in-depth view at resources for UCI students who are interested in film and media!
In addition to clubs that foster more of a networking environment, there are also clubs where the primary ethos is friend-making. These primarily consist of social and cultural clubs. If the term “social club” sounds as intimidating to you as it did to me, you should just go for it. I joined Tomo No Kai, the Japanese/Japanese-American social and cultural club, and I truly wish I had joined earlier. Many clubs such as Tomo No Kai have family systems that encourage you to form closer bonds with people within the club. Family systems are essentially smaller groups within the larger club that allow you to be paired with new people and form closer bonds. There are also fun events such as bowling and karaoke—hosted by the club!
The clubs I mentioned above barely capture the vast number of clubs UCI has to offer. If you have a passion or interest that feels niche to you, I’m sure there is a club/organization for it.
Sustaining the Friendships
Now comes the difficult part. It’s the middle of the quarter. You have midterms to study for in each class—papers due, projects to complete, and a million other things to do. How are you supposed to sustain the friendships you were creating back when the quarter was going at a slower pace? During my first year, I was terrible at making time to form closer bonds with people I was meeting. However, in the spring quarter, I realized that you have more time to develop these friendships than you might think. These hangouts just require planning.
For example, you should eat meals regularly, so why not eat them with a friend? When I lived in the dorms, I loved to eat at the Anteatery at Mesa Court. Just over the bridge by the flagpole, there is University Town Center (UTC). At UTC, there are many food and drink options, including boba! My favorite places to grab lunch with a friend are Mad Dumplings or Flippoly. There is no common lunch period like in high school, so this will require some coordination. However, planning these meal meetups or spontaneously deciding to do so is a great way to catch up and get to know someone better.
Studying is also something that you will be doing a lot of at UCI, so why not form your own study group? Study rooms are popular places for study groups to meet. My favorite study rooms are at the Science Library. These study rooms have whiteboards, outlets, and some even have monitors to project your computer screen. You may do more studying than hijinks, but cramming for a test is always better with company. Finding an activity that you inevitably do on a regular basis and including your new friends not only makes a task more enjoyable, but it also helps facilitate that closer connection despite the busyness.
If you have time on the weekends, I also recommend going on friend dates! Some popular activities include getting Seaside Donuts at Newport Beach, spending the day at the Irvine Spectrum Center, or trying out a new restaurant/boba place. Some popular off-campus boba shops include Orobae or Omomo. As for food places, Diamond Jamboree (DJ) is a popular place to go to. DJ has many restaurants with good Asian cuisine as well as dessert places. Pepper Lunch for a good meal with Sul and Beans for dessert is the ultimate combo. If you're willing to spend a bit, you could even go to Disneyland or take a day trip to Los Angeles. In my opinion, these friend dates are catalysts for those main character moments.
Making Time for Yourself
It may sound counterintuitive to end a blog post dedicated to friend-making with a section about being by yourself, but I assure you that these concepts go hand in hand. College is about discovering more about who you are. Friends can help you do this, but you have to give yourself room to grow on your own. Make sure you take the time to self-reflect and find comfort in your own company.
Oftentimes, the people you spend time with during your first year won’t be the same as the people you hang out with the next year, and that’s okay. But hold on to the friendships you know will last as you evolve and push yourself to venture out of your dorm room. You are in control of your time here at UCI, and as a director would say, the best scenes start with “action!”
